Recently God has been doing a number on me by showing me about me even though it feels like I am So far away. There has been so many trials in my life in the last year and it scares me to think of what 2012 may bring. The one thing that is scaring me the most right now is just how selfish I really am.. I am Pure evil on the inside… At least when I compare myself to the only comparison.. Selfish, Jealous, Spiteful, Lover of self and of earthly things and the list goes on and on.. I thank Jesus for the wonderful Saving Grace of his love.. I would not make it without it.. After falling I half to stand back up and dust myself off and continue on.. Despite bloody knees from falling so much.. The bible has it right …. The more I fix in my life the more I see just how far I am from him. I have recently came to another conclusion.. I am glad that there has only been one person I have dated before now because I am seeing just how much my selfishness effects my life and my actions and words.. I don’t think that I would have been ready for a real relationship because I had issues with a relationship with myself.. I have also found recently that I had to apologize to my 5 year old nephew for not taking him out for his birthday. How could I have forgotten that.. I have been taking them for grained and at their ages of 4 and 5 this is the time I should not be doing that.. Either way we are fixing all these issues with god’s help and I am excited for the 2012 and finding that Narrow way to walk down. I pray that I can become more like my Savior and less like me in 2012. Praise God that he aggressively keeps badgering me to follow him and will never give up on me.. I also thank Everyone who makes it possible for me to dump my thoughts and feeling out on this blog…