In late January of 2011 I was working out on a regular basis and was getting my spiritual life closer to where God wants me when I can to a decision about dating and marriage that I didn’t really want to make. I finally decided that whatever Gods will was for me in marriage or dating that was ok for me. I was tired of looking only to fine rejection. ” I kind of expected rejection because I still kind of rejected myself. ” After I finally made that decision to let God be in complete control of my dating I felt a peace about it that reassured me that it was the right decision. The very next week in the beginning of February I received a shock that was half of gods answer to me. After bible study one of my lady friends asked me what I thought of this girl in the group. And like a Man I said that I didn’t know and that she was ok and why she was asking. She proceeded to ask me the same question 2 more time till it finally hit me like a 2X4 across the head. So after a day or so of mustering up all my courage I called this girl and asked her if she wanted to go out some time. All previous attempts at this with other females end with rejection, so to my shock she said yes when I asked. After I prayed that God would let me know if this was truly his will because of my disbelief that what just happened. So the plan was to meet at a local coffee shop on the 8th of February around 5:30 or 6. Well god answered that second prayer also by sending me a large winter blizzard that same night at the same time. ” God answers my prayers a lot with bad weather as you would see in previous posts. “ We started that date with a prayer and the rest of the night flew by till the coffee shop closed and we had to leave. Before I knew it we were dating and I was loving it. I finally had someone to talk to about my life and to hear how her days were going.
We dated till about mid April when we decided that we were not right for each other and that we could still be friends after. I was ok for the first day but the second day the hurt of the loss of my first love” as they say” set in. I came to understand many things in that following week about myself and what I truly wanted in a wife. God had put this beautiful girl in my life for a couple months to teach me. He showed me that even though there is someone else there to talk to that I still needed to lean on him and that he is ultimately the still the only one that will always be there for me. During the time we dated God showed me what being the spiritual leader was going to be like and how hard it could be at times. He also showed me just how selfish and greedy I really was and how that was not going to work in any relationship. My attitudes and my sensitivity was the final thing I learned. I had always thought how wonderful it would be to just listen to my girlfriend or wife, to find out that I had a really hard time doing that when it counted. When I was ready to listen and when she wanted to talk was on two different time tables. I found myself apologizing for a lot for not listening or not being sensitive enough. I have learned in the times since that I have lost some of my fear of talking to women. I have also found more confidence in myself because of this experience. I am not afraid of much but I am still afraid of talking to available Beautiful women, just not as much now as before.
After all is said and done I am glad that I was able to get to know this beautiful girl. And for the things she was able to teach me in the time we were together. I am also thankful that we can still be good friends and still do things together. Most of all I am thankful to my wonderful Savior for giving me this experience and showing me about myself and what I really want in a wife. I look forward to the fact that God had said that he does want me to date and for any learning I have to do in any relational experiences on my was to finding my wife. I also pray that in any of these future relational experiences that I can draw the person I date into a closer walk with my wonderful loving God. Thank you Jesus and all praise be unto you.