Recently in my life I feel as if things were going well and now even though little has changed I feel as if they had changed. To try to put it in a word picture I feel as if Jesus is holding me with his loving open arms and I keep trying to pull away from him to say ” See I can stand and follow you ” only to Crash and burn. After he picks me back up I return to his arms feeling as a Broken Child. The question I ask myself is why did I leave his arms in the first place. No matter how old I get and how wise I get with earthly and spiritual wisdom I will always be a child to him. I know I am much better off just staying in his embrace. I go through life craving time that I can spend with friends and family in my daily and weekly schedule. Not if but when they fail me It really hurts and I wonder why. In the past it was easy for me to fix because all I had to do is eat something really good. But as I have stated in a previous post that is a sin for me now. So I turn to a form of entertainment wither it be TV, Movies, or the computer. Why.. Why do I do this when I already know the truth. God started with food and was making me fix that. Next he moved on to the movies and TV that I watch. Now God I moving on to my friends. The groups that I have attended at my churches have come and gone with me still there when they die or start. Now I am seeing the starting stages of the death of my third or fourth group. Most of the time the members are marrying off or moving. So it is a natural reason the groups die but I am still there. As the groups die I am unable to spend time with its members for obvious life reasons like marriage. I am starting to see what Is happening. God is eliminating everything in my life that keeps me from him. And no matter what he does I am willing to fill it with whatever I can and that seems thus far to not be him. I know the bible says he is a jealous God and I am starting to understand what that really means for me. So as I get older and change for knowing everything to seemingly knowing nothing about life I am really thankful for the family God has given me. And I praise his name for the fact that from what I can see all of my local family despite the age are Children of God with me. I continue to pray for my sisters children that they will want a relationship with the One True God also. So I need to learn and then act out the fact that despite what is going on in life wither it be good or bad I need a Savior just as much now as I ever did. A savior that is willing to spend as much time with me as I am willing to spend with him. A savior that will never leave or forsake me. A savior that has paid the high price for sin. Thank you God for never leaving or forsaking me and for being patient with me as I continue through life.